Lupins Café Poutine

Rating 10/10 | I am (literally) on fire

Every Vancouverite (who has been to Grouse, which, all Vancouverites have) knows about Lupin’s Café, the only place to get food, so I won’t berate you with a description of the café itself. However, I will note that my 10/10 rating for their poutine (which costs $14.99, enough to subsidise the adoption fee for 1/20th of a cat [but who wants a twentieth of a cat is the real question]) is only what it is because of the fact that they taste good after having a full-body meltdown.

This is because they are the one saving grace after spending (roughly) an hour climbing up the Grouse Grind, a 2.9km trail with 800m of elevation. You’re effectively rock climbing, and during my hike in the winter, quite literally digging your hands into the snow to prevent yourself from falling backwards and into the waiting arms of the metaphorical bear I have invented to illustrate this example. Furthermore, you can’t hike down the trail because it’s too steep (at least, you can’t legally). So after breaking your legs for seemingly no purpose, you have to then pay for a gondola ride down (which costs more than the poutine, enough to subsidise 1/15th of a cat).

This poutine is therefore terrific not because they taste great (which they do, primarily just of salt but to be fair that’s what you need after the Grouse Grind), but because you’re so exhausted you stuff yourself full of poutine. 10/10, have done many times, and would do so again.